The Blogs Must Be Crazy – Jon Stewart

Obviously Stewart’s not talking about the Black Bear Blog!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
The Blogs Must Be Crazy
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Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

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Are Some Animal Lovers Caught In An Evolutionary Time Warp?

I’m sure some would argue that man is not more intelligent or more evolved than the common beasts that inhabit the globe. As much as we have this urge to sometimes place man’s collective intelligence as being less than that of, say a cow, for the most part that is not true. Some of my best friends are brighter than a cow. Well, let’s say at least a slug.

There are two theories as to why we are here on this planet. One is Evolution and of course the other Creation. Which ever one you pick, I think it intelligent rationalization to claim that animals where here first. So, does that give them something over us? Preferential rights? First dibs? I called shotgun?

Let’s take a look. If man “evolved” from animals (take your pick which one), one would assume and some studies suggest that part of that evolution was the expansion of intelligent thinking. I know! I know! Stop thinking about Washington for just a few minutes, Okay?

Could we also rationalize that over those how many millions of years as man evolved, so did his ability to think, driven by an unexplained (evolved) desire to learn? As man’s intelligence grew, at what point did man come to realize he was brighter than a sheep or a worm? I said to forget about Washington. Come on, man! Let’s work to evolve this discussion.

Once man evolved to a point he discovered he had something all the other animals didn’t, a brain developed enough to think and reason, I wonder how many of them believed these animals could think as they did? Did this evolved man begin to believe that animals had “rights” or had rights evolved yet?

Creationism is much simpler and perhaps one of the reasons I gravitate toward that belief; aside from the fact I would rather want to be part of a plan devised by a Power much bigger than any of us can understand and to be “special”, rather than evolved from some nasty, poop flinging monkey. How many times do I have to tell you to stop thinking about Washington?

According to the teachings of the Bible, which for those who don’t know is where Creationism comes from, God created the planets and put animals on Earth. Then in his loneliness He created Adam and then Eve, called it all good and said, “Hey Adam! By the way. I give you and all your ancestors “dominion” of the animals and the land, etc. that I’m giving you.” Probably He could have appeased the environmentalists (which he didn’t create. They are a mutation.) if He would have said, “And by the way, I expect you to do the best job you can in taking care of all these goodies!” You know, clean air, clean water!

God’s plan is perfect, or so I believe but I’m not so sure about Evolution. You see, when we speak of evolution, in our smugness, our evolved intelligence, we make the assumption that this evolving is all for the better. Evolution could be defined as: “change in the gene pool of a population from generation to generation by such processes as mutation, natural selection, and genetic drift.”

As such these processes seem to indicate an actual devolution, a genetic drift, by some of the human species. If man once had a desire to evolve to be something smarter than an orangutan, there now seems to be just as big a desire to devolve to a level equal to that of the elected species these mutants have fallen in love with. An argument could be made that as man evolved and learned how to love, some perhaps never evolved far enough to understand that those feelings of love they had were meant to be toward another human and not another animal. This is the only rational explanation I can come up with why some either less evolved or once evolved and now devolving people place the animals they love on an equal plane with themselves.

The less evolved and/or slowly devolving humans, in their erosion of intelligent and rational thought, think that those of us more evolved who understand our role as the dominate, more intelligent species, want to destroy all these creatures because we can. To them it is all or nothing; animals are either equal to humans or evil man just wants them all dead. This is undeveloped thinking. Evidently this evolution thing doesn’t happen for everyone all at the same time. I can’t help myself. They must first go through Congress before they can evolve enough to be a productive part of our society. There, I said it!

If you see or know someone who exhibits this behavior, understand that perhaps it is only those who have been caught in some kind of evolutionary time warp. I’m not sure I am evolved enough to know whether they can ever escape such a warp, as I may be in one of my own.

Stay away from Washington. It might be a black hole.

Tom Remington

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The Best Headline Evah!

James Dilingpole, who writes for the Telegraph in the U.K. among other varied writing projects, has what could be the best headline for a story I’ve seen in a long time. Dilingpole writes often about global warming issues as is the content of his piece today titled:

“‘AGW is real!’ insists Al Gore’s new soul mate Osama Bin Laden”

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Jon Stewart On Chris Matthews Forgetting Obama Was Black

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I’m Tellin Ya! I Don’t Get No Respect

The below ditty showed up in my in box this afternoon. It really sounded more like a few lines from a Rodney Dangerfield stand up act. Here goes:

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald’s and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can
you afford fries with that?”

CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

I’m tellin ya! I don’t get no respect.

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Jon Stewart Pokes Fun At Teleprompter In Chief……Too!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Obama Speaks to a Sixth-Grade Classroom
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Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

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GlacierGate: Hitler’s Last Straw

If you didn’t find the real debate on GlacierGate interesting enough, perhaps this, yet another version of Hitler in distress, you will find amusing.

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This Little Piggie

This is far too good not to post. Hat tip to reader “jes” for sending the photo along.

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Ever Wonder What Female Bobsledders Wear Under Those Skin Tight Suits?

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Mississippi Squirrel Revival – Ray Stevens

As I watched with great entertainment last night as the election returns came in from the Massachusetts senatorial race between Martha Coakley and Scott Brown, many thoughts raced through my head. I tried all night and woke up a few times during the night, on into this morning trying to think of what this election reminded me of. Then it dawned on me.

Ray Stevens! That’s right. Do you remember the “Mississippi Squirrel Revival”? When Ray was a boy, he snuck a squirrel he had caught into church one Sunday. The squirrel escaped Ray’s box and created quite the uproar in the old church.

I believe if you watch the video, you’ll agree that Scott Brown might just be the squirrel that escaped the box and raised cane in Massachusetts.

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Now I Understand!

If you’re like me, you’ve been trying to get a grasp on why anyone would dress this way. Little did I know.

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“RoXXXy” The Sex Robot

Man has invented “Roxxxy” the sex robot. I think that’s only fitting considering the direction this country is headed. But what’s scary is they intend to replicate a real personality for this robot. My God, think of the possibilities.
I considered a better use for Roxxy. It seems that her only function is to please a man sexually. She can’t be too bright, can’t walk and is lazy as all get out. That automatically qualifies her for a job in Congress or maybe even the White House.

I should have posted the picture of this sexxxy, no dish washing, no vacuuming, faux sex robot. Couldn’t they have done better? Which really prompted to me to question just what kind of a real personality they would try to “recreate” to give “Roxxxy”.

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“Spread The Wealth” Pencil Sharpener

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Letter To Editor: Cabin For Sale. Was Hunting Camp. Now Ideal For Wolf Watching

A reader sent me this link and I thought it worthy of putting up here for your entertainment. Link to original letter here.

~~~~~

For sale: One elk-hunting cabin in the East Fork of the Bitterroots. Cabin has been used successfully during hunting seasons for over 50 years by scores of Montana families. Cabin includes large meat-hanging crossbeam which has served well in the past years. This beam hasn’t been used for several years.

This rustic cabin is situated in the Billie Springer Memorial Park, which is a community comprised of Armed Service veterans. Until recently, this area was prime for big game hunting and was very popular during the fall months, September through December. While the number of huntable animals has dropped off, the cabin would be an ideal base for those interested in observing wolves (Fish, Wildlife and Parks Defenders of Wildlife; tribal moose harvesters; the U.S. Forest Service et al). Proceeds from sale will go to local food banks.

Mark Stergios,

Missoula

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Duck, Duck, Goose! Crazy Goose!

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