I Need A Joke Bad!!
June 3, 2009
It’s time to write another joke! When I get angry and frustrated over current events, I have to stop and tell a joke or a story in order to blow off steam. I get ranting and raving and sometimes say things I might not and should not be saying. But hey, I’m paying the bills here, right?
You are aware that we are smack dab in the middle of that giant stimulus package the President rushed through Congress and all the Kool-Aid drinkers eagerly signed on for? Well, that stimulus money has put some people to work doing “guvmint” jobs. Take for instance Clarence.
Clarence heard the small town that he lived in had received some stimulus money and was looking for one good man who could do some highway maintenance work. Clarence applied and he was told to report to work first thing on Monday morning.
And, so he did! After spending the first full day filling out “guvmint” paperwork, he was sent home and told to come back the next day ready to work.
On Tuesday Clarence showed up right on time. His boss, the road foreman, told Clarence to go get in his pick-up truck and the foreman drove him 10 miles out of town to the town line. Clarence was left there with a paint brush and a bucket of white paint and told him his job was to start at the town line and repaint the white line all the way back to town. The foreman said he would pick him up at the end of the day.
The first day, Clarence painted 3 miles of white line and the foreman was duly impressed. On Wednesday Clarence was taken back out and dropped off. At the end of the day the foreman went to pick up Clarence only to discover that he had only painted just over a mile of white line.
The foreman was quite concerned but didn’t say anything to Clarence until the end of the third day. When the foreman arrived to pick up Clarence, all that had been painted was barely a half mile of white line.
Clarence got in the truck and the foreman glared at him for a minute and they said, “You’re fired!”
It was a long and quiet ride back to the municipal garage but once they got there Clarence finally got up enough gumption to ask the foreman why he was being fired.
The foreman replied, “You don’t know? I thought you were a good worker. The first day you painted 3 miles of white line. That was very good. The second day only one mile got painted and today, I’m not sure if you did anything. What you got to say for yourself?”
Clarence really didn’t understand. Perhaps it was the pressure of having a “guvmint” job. He took off his hat and thought a minute and then he said to the foreman, “You know don’t you that the farther I went painting white lines, the farther I got away from the bucket of paint you left beside the road. All that walking and I was some tired out!”
Clarence was promoted to mayor!
Tom Remington
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