Farting Can Save Earth!!
April 24, 2009
It was less than one year ago that we heard the world would end soon if we didn’t stop farting. Cows and other wild animals were mostly targeted as it seemed “fartlically” incorrect to point out the natural necessity of humans expelling unwanted and mostly enjoyable gas. In short, farts were contributing to global warming and by God something had to be done about it.
I have said numerous times before that if you just wait a few months, a new study will prove an old study obsolete. As we all know, studies prove that studies can prove anything (studies proved that).
But hold onto your holy methane Batman, scientists not only have found a good use for farts that might indirectly save the earth, they’ve discovered a way to create “man-made” farts. Oh, wait a minute. That doesn’t make any sense. I make my own farts therefore they are man-made.
Let’s try this again. Science has discovered how to make artificial farts and with that discovery they think they might be able to burn the fart gas to create useful energy. We just need some kind of microorganism to pull it off. I wonder where they’ll get that? Maybe Al Gore’s got some of them “inconveniently” stashed around his “green” mansion.
Hey, where have these guys been. Man has been making farts, naturally of course, since the beginning and God only knows how long we’ve been burning them – you know under the sheets at home first before attempting it at a college frat party. I never did think it impressed the girls much.
But all kidding aside (NOT), MSNBC, one news source that has more hot air than any other, is reporting on this friendly fart find that might just finalize the frivolity in fussing over farting for nothing but fun.
I better end this.
Tom Remington
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