Why I’m Voting Democrat Next Time
March 13, 2009
Note: Got this in my email this morning. I don’t know who authored it but I thought we could have some fun with it.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I’m voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I’m voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing because they now think we’re good people.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.
I’m voting Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don’t have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don’t want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.
I’m voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my horse.
I’m voting Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn’t.
Please feel free to add to this list in the comments section.
Tom Remington
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I’m voting Democrat because I don’t know enough about the constitution and the bill of rights.
I’m voting Democrat because I want a new car I can’t afford.
I’m voting Democrat because the house and garage for my new car are way
beyond my means – and someone has to pay for it.
I’m voting Democrat because I’m stimulated to the point of setting on my ass
and bitching about things I know little or nothing about.
I’m voting Democrat because the mob out of Chicago has so much money and
pull – they know what’s best for us.
I’m voting Democrat because I don’t think; I feel………
I’m voting Democrat because I can’t think without a prompter.
I’m voting Democrat because we need another gov’t program and I don’t
know how it is paid for – or care.
I’m voting Democrat because there are no repercusions for my actions.
I’m voting Democrat because I get what I want and damn the rest of ya!
I’m voting democrat because I hate guns and people who own them.
Dear u.s subject willfully stupid and dumbed down democrat marxist socialist communists leftists progressives and Barry barack obama Soetoro Kenyan born immigrant serf president supporters,
Myself a Constitutionalist and Bible believing conservative and fellow consrevative pro republic friends have tolerated each other since FDR and his New Deal, which in my proud but humble opinion you vandalized. Regardless of that episode we still tolerated each other for many years for the sake of the future generations. But after 14 years of your dog running wild, NAFTA and GATT, I have finally come to the conclusion I want a divorce..
This sorry relationship has run its course, Our two-three ideological sides of America cannot and just will not agree on whats right. Plus this latest election process has really determined you guys are mental midgets, and would except Castro as your King as long as he had a printing press. So I believe we should shake hands and each go our own way, before I become more angry and do something I will regret, like tossing you guys head first into a ditch..So it’s final lets split now.
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a portion. Thats going to be the difficult part, I certainly mean to keep the Rockies no matter the cost. But I’m sure with some bickering to avoid a war you will relent and give me the rockies, all of them. After that, it should be relatively easy, Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide our other assets since both sides have a distinct and disparate taste.
We don’t like redistributive taxes, so you can keep those, you can have Hillary’s health care and her quackery medical sciences, you keep the Liberal Judges and the ACLU. And since you hate GUNs and you hate war, we’ll take the firearms, all the munitions, all the conservative cops, you keep the liberal cops with a billy club. You can keep Barack, Hillary, Wrangle, Jesse Jackson, Oprah, Michael Moore and fatass Rosie O’Donnell. But you going to need a bio-diesel vehicle to haul them around, and that will be your responsiblity.
We’ll keep Capitalism, the greedy corporations, you get the Pharma poisen corporation. We will keep the Gun manufacturers, all American tradesmen, and the car builders, we also want the Nostalgic hot rods, We get all sporting machines, and archery making equipment. You can have Wal-Mart and those Chinese goods, and you get Wall Street with the feds funny money..We’ll keep our gold-Silver-Copper. We will keep the sexy socker mom from Alaska, I really want to do her but haven’t had time due to keeping an eye on you fruit cups to long..
You can have the wetbacks,(illegals) those home boys, the hippies, and those dudes in skirts who seem really confused, you keep the homeless you created that problem anyhow. You keep Hollywood, Islam, The RCC, you get the Popers, we have figured out that those dudes don’t know the diffrence between the Bible and a Sears mechanical guide. You keep your peaceknicks and your humane society. You keep Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley Maclaine, you can also have the United Nations, in fact you guys should take Califorinia and it’s Druid governor, along with those two faggots Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise..I know I know kinda harsh but I personally know them both, it’s credible.
You also can pay the bills for the UNs Hypocracy we see all over the world. We will keep the oil fields, the SUVS, the motorcycles, Snow Machines, and heavey equipment, we want those big trucks and those big trailers to haul our shit around with, we get the beef herds, you get the chicken farms, You keep all those compact cars and Subaru Station Wagons, We will continue to use real health care which we will be responsible for including Alternative methods, you keep the witch doctors who killed more people in the last Century than our guns did. We want the Battle Hymm of the Republic, The National Anthem, We get the NFL, and Baseball-Hockey-NHL, you keep those golfers and tennis pros. we will control the fishing as well. You can keep the Beatles U2 and the WHO, we get TED NUGENT.
You guys keep Johns Song “IMAGINE” we know you love that one..I’ll even toss in Gordon Lightfoot, We will pratice trickle down economics, and you keep on with your trickle up poverty idea, and since it so offends you we will keep our FLAG..our UNEDITED HISTORY..our AMERICAN SOVEREIGNTY-DE-JURE STATUS, once I toss out your educational horseshit I can bring my compadres up to speed on the truth movement..
Would you agree to this, ? If, so we can avoid killing all you stupid asswipes and get this finalized. In the friendly spirit of parting, I’ll bet you all come begging at our doors for our help in the future, please give us about 25 years to cool off and get over being so F***ked OVER by you for the last 40 years.
P.S. I want the Jack Daniels Plant, you keep those little Martini’s.
SINCERLY…The WolvesHater
I’m voting Democrat because I’m soooo much smarter than all the rest of you
I think I’ll just vote for Greg.
I’m voting Democrat because our foundings fathers were truly gifted men
whom the world has not seen the likes of since and I can’t understand the following statement by one of them
“The aim of every political constitution is, or ought to be, first to obtain for rulers men who possess most wisdom to discern, and most virture to pursue, the common good of the society; and in the next place, to take the most effectual precautions for keeping them virtuous whilst they continue to hold their public trust.”
–Alexander Hamilton or James Madison, Federalist No. 57, 19 February 1788
I will vote Democrat next time because I have no eyed deer why I should work,
toil and sweat to produce…………..anything.
I will vote Democrat next time because I intend to set on my ass and do nothing
productive except wait for my next check to arrive.
I will vote Democart next time because the Union will do my biding for me. I
can’t vouche for myself. ( I don’t do anything)