Our Lack Of Appreciation Of Government

Being that our politicians and the federal government in general deserve about as much respect as a rat taking up residence under your kitchen cabinet, I thought this morning would be a good opportunity to share a government joke.

Fred and Sarah lived on a farm out in the country. They kept pretty much to themselves, never bothered anybody and expected the same in return.

It was the heat of the day and both Fred and Sarah were sitting on the east side of their kitchen trying to stay cool, when a knock came on their front door. Sarah went to the door and slowly opened it.

“My name is John Dillweed. I’m from the federal government. My license number is 225440116 and I am here to inspect your farm,” were the words coming out of the mouth of this weasily little man as he handed her his business card.

“Wait just a minute!” cried Sarah and she turned and you could hear her yelling for Fred as she slammed the door in Dillweed’s face.

After a couple minutes Fred opened the door, “Yes?”

“My name is John Dillweed. I’m from the federal government. My license number is 225440116 and I am here to inspect your farm,” the pipsqueak repeated himself and handed Fred one of his business cards.

“I’m not interested in you, your license number, your business card or why you are here. Get off my land now!” Fred said as his voice raised ever so slightly at the end of his command.

“My name is John Dillweed. I’m from the federal government. My license number is 225440116 and I am here to inspect your farm,” once again he claimed and pushed another business card into Fred’s face.

Fred looked briefly at the card and slowly turned to the government idiot and said, “You go do what you got to do and then get to hell off my land!” And with that Fred slammed the door in Dillweed’s face and returned to the kitchen to sit with Sarah and sip on iced sweet tea.

Dillweed headed out around the corner of the farmhouse heading for the pasture nearest the barn. He scooted under the fence and walked toward a large tub of water used for watering the critters. As he bent over to closely examine the rim and sidewalls of the water trough, he heard a noise. Looking up he saw a very large bull with head down headed directly for him.

Not knowing what to do, Dillweed headed for the nearest object, a small tree. He shinnied up the tree just out of reach of the bull. The bull butted his head against the tree hoping to shake the man out of the tree.

Dillweed began to yell, “Hello! Up at the house! Come get this bull!” It was no use. Dillweed yelled several times and it seemed no one would hear him.

Fred and Sarah sat quietly in the kitchen sipping tea. Finally, Sarah asked Fred if he could hear something from outside.

“Maybe,” Fred mumbled and Sarah walked to the back door, opened it and looked out. She saw Dillweed up the tree yelling.

“You up at the house! Come get this bull!”

To which Sarah yelled back, “Show him your damned card!” and slammed the door shut.

Tom Remington

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