Al Gore Has Secret And Unusual Rendezvous
April 1, 2008
On Sunday night in an interview with Lesley Stahl of CBS’ Sixty Minutes, Al Gore was heard to exclaim that there were so few people who disagreed with him and his assessment of anthropogenic (man made) carbon dioxide causing global warming. He said these are the same people who think the lunar landing was staged at a Hollywood movie lot. He also likened them to the Flat Earth Society people.
Many people have wondered and longed for Al Gore, the arrogant narcissist who claims to have invented the Internet, to run for the presidency again. It has become clear that he has become obsessed with global warming to the point there is nothing else important in his life anymore. Or is that true?
This is an exclusive story by Skinny Moose Media that will not be heard of or read anywhere else.
Skinny Moose Media sent a crack field reporter to follow Al Gore. With a man of such public prominence, surely there must be something our staff could find out about Al Gore that even the most infatuated of mindless Americans would surely see that the man who invented the Internet and is now about to save the world, while substantially adding to his bank account, is a bit less than godly.
Skinny Moose Media’s head investigative reporter, Hairoldo Rivera, heard of a secret trip Al Gore had planned to visit the Hudson Bay area to see first hand the demise of the loving and cuddly little polar bears. Stories have existed for decades now and nearly cost Gore the Vice Presidency, that he has some kind of sick infatuation with polar bears. It is rumored that since birth, he has kept a stuffed polar bear with him at all times, often between him and his wife, causing stress in their relationship.
Rivera went ahead of Al Gore, who traveled alone, which he almost always did when he visited the Hudson Bay area, to devise a way of being able to spy on Gore without being noticed. He decided to rent a polar bear suit and mingle with the other Coca-Cola drinking bears. What Rivera discovered is shocking and is sure to bring the world to their senses about global warming…..and Al Gore, surely.
It seems that Al Gore is in love. Yes, that’s true. He has fallen in love with a polar bear and it appears that he has used his influence as sole inventor of the Internet, to convince the world that the end is near if we don’t stop emitting carbon dioxide, just for the purpose of explaining his trips to the frozen north.
Rivera, who had some difficulties remaining unrecognized with the other bears (it is bear mating season and they’re shooting another Coke commercial) got as close as he could to Gore and his very close friend, a smallish-sized female polar bear he likes to call Laura. He overheard parts of the monologue of Gore’s (Of course Al Gore, having become so mentally deranged from his work on global warming and protecting his Internet invention, thinks Laura talks back.) Here’s what Skinny Moose Media reporter Hairoldo Rivera heard Gore saying to his little fur ball.
“I don’t know how much longer I can keep coming up here like this to see you. What’s that, Laura. No, I have told you before. I will not leave my wife. As much as I love you, I don’t like the cold and you wouldn’t like the summer warmth of Tennessee. I know I told you the earth was warming and all the ice was melting but you have to understand, I did it for you. How else could I explain my repeated trips up here?”
Rivera reports that Gore sat for hours with Laura the polar bear, most often sitting silently and at night they cuddled and watch the Northern Lights.
Skinny Moose Media believes that once this story breaks, those lingering few who still believe in Al Gore will slowly turn their unthinking attention to Barack Obama, someone they can truly believe in.
Hairoldo Rivera reporting - April 1, 2008
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After leaving the Flat Earth Society’s weekly “Open Invitational to Mouth Breathers and Trailer Dwellers”, all three members decided it was time to investigate the moon landing for ourselves; provided no one had to go near the edge and risk falling off.
Myself,I’m the flat earth guy. No expounding need go on here over such a simple concept and every member feels the same way.
B.J., he’s the mouth breather. He gets along fine. Just don’t ask him to shut up.
And finally, the last member, Troy. He’s the trailer dweller. Some unmentionable persons have actually reverted to calling him trailer trash. How dare they?! His trailer is tied down just like everyone else’s. How can we ever get anything done?
I doubt there’s anyone out there to reach just so we can change their mind but we’ll keep tryin’. “Don’t go near the edge”.
I now beleave in the whole glogel warminng thing.
just the other day i was having a drink with a friend
as the ice in his drink melted
his drink began to over flow onto the bar
so i know that i do have to worry about the antartic ice that is already floating in the ocean breaking off and melting
I know The tide will rise and drown us with that warm water about 46 degrees this time of year in maine
lookong out my back window at the snow left from a record snow fall year you would have a hard time selling the warming of anything and blaming it on any other thing.
CO2 only accounts for 0.12 percent of the atmosphere and only has increased 0.0007 percent. Who is the idiot who decided that was the problem…oh right Al Gore!!
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